Between Childhood and Adulthood: A Journey Through Age Regression and Healing 🌸

Hello deer, this is Seri 🌸

Today we will talk about a very personal and "hard to explain" topic.

Growing up can be difficult for many people, but for me, it was especially challenging. After experiencing deep loss and trauma, I found myself retreating into a world of childhood comforts ; plushies, cartoons, and a sense of innocence that helped me escape the overwhelming weight of adulthood. Age regression became a way to protect myself from the harshness of the world. But as time went on, it became more than just a coping mechanism. It became a part of my reality, one that I struggled to control.

In this journey, I’ve learned that age regression is not just about acting younger : it’s about processing trauma and finding healing. It’s about integrating my childlike self with the adult I’ve become, seeking a balance between honoring my past and embracing the present. This is my story of navigating the complexities of age regression, trauma, and self-healing, and how I’m working toward a healthier, more balanced life.

Let's start by the beginning :

What is Age regression?

Age regression is when someone mentally or emotionally returns to a younger state of mind. This can be intentional or unintentional, and people experience it in different ways depending on their reasons and needs.

It became more formally acknowledged in the mid-20th century, especially in connection with psychoanalysis and certain therapeutic practices like hypnotherapy. However, the concept of age regression where a person may revert to a younger state of mind or behavior, often for therapeutic purposes has roots in various cultural practices and healing traditions that go back much further.

In modern times, age regression is sometimes used as a therapeutic tool, especially for trauma recovery, helping individuals revisit earlier stages of life to process unresolved issues or reframe memories. However, it can also be a part of some subcultures, where individuals may engage in it for comfort or as a coping mechanism.

There are two main types:

Voluntary (non-clinical) age regression:

Some people use it as a coping mechanism, especially during stress, trauma, or burnout. They might take on childlike behaviors like cuddling plushies, watching cartoons, coloring, wearing soft clothes, or using baby talk to feel safe and comforted. It’s not always about acting like a specific age, but more about reconnecting with innocence and softness. For many, it’s soothing and healing.

Involuntary (clinical) age regression:

In psychology, this can happen during therapy (like hypnotherapy or trauma work) or in mental health conditions such as PTSD, DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), or BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). In these cases, the person might "slip" into a younger state without consciously choosing to. It can be a way for the mind to protect itself from overwhelming emotions.

Some people use age regression as part of inner child work or self-therapy, where they try to meet unmet emotional needs from childhood.

It’s important to know that age regression is not the same as pretending or playing. For many, it’s a real emotional state, deeply connected to healing, softness, and feeling safe.

Role play and age regression, though they may seem similar on the surface, are fundamentally different in terms of purpose and emotional impact.

Role play is typically a conscious activity where individuals intentionally take on different roles or personas, often for fun, creativity, or exploring different aspects of themselves. It can be used in various settings, including therapy or entertainment, and is usually temporary, with clear boundaries between the role and the real self.

role play can involve characters of all ages, and people don’t always play as kids. The age of the character depends on the individual’s preference, the narrative being created, and the goals of the role play.

Age regression, on the other hand, is an unconscious psychological process where someone reverts to a younger state of mind, often as a response to stress, trauma, or emotional discomfort. It’s not about pretending to be younger, but rather, involuntarily experiencing a return to a childlike mindset, which may include behaviors, emotions, and reactions that are typical of a younger age. Age regression is often a coping mechanism and can be triggered by specific emotional or environmental factors.

While role play is usually a choice, age regression can be an involuntary and sometimes disruptive response to deep emotional needs. Therefore, they serve different functions and come from different places in the psyche.

Emotional & Behavioral Symptoms of age regression:

Using a childlike voice or simpler speech (sometimes even baby talk)

Seeking comfort, cuddling stuffed animals, using pacifiers or soft blankets, wanting to be held or soothed

Playful behaviors ; watching cartoons, coloring, playing with toys, or enjoying children's music

Emotional vulnerability ; becoming more sensitive, tearful, or in need of reassurance

Feeling safer in routine or gentle structure, like needing naps, snacks, or being told “everything’s okay”.

Avoiding adult responsibilities, feeling overwhelmed by "grown-up" tasks and needing a break from them

Clinginess or dependence wanting to stay close to someone trusted, like a caregiver figure.

Physical Cues Might Include:

Wearing soft, cozy clothes (like oversized hoodies or pajamas).

Sucking thumbs or holding comfort objects

Slower movements, curled-up posture, or sitting on the floor

For some people, it's a way to feel safe, nurtured, and emotionally free a return to softness when the world feels too heavy. And for others, it’s part of healing their inner child and unmet needs.

It's important to understand,

watching cartoons or doing playful things doesn’t automatically mean someone is age regressing.

Many adults enjoy cartoons, plushies, or cozy clothes simply because they’re comforting, nostalgic, or aesthetically cute, and that’s totally normal and healthy.

The key difference with age regression is the mental and emotional shift that happens inside. It’s not just about what you’re doing, but how you feel while doing it.

Age regression often brings a childlike mindset, where someone may feel more emotionally dependent, vulnerable, or even want to be cared for just like when they were little. It’s a deeper emotional state, not just a hobby or interest.

So yes, someone can love plushies, cute clothes, or cartoons without regressing. But when those things become part of a shift into a softer, younger inner state… that’s when it becomes age regression.

My story :

I have always been drawn to cute things, to things that felt innocent and safe plushies, cartoons, anything that allowed me to retreat into a softer, more comforting world. It was like my inner sanctuary, a way to escape the overwhelming fear of growing up. The world, with all its harshness, was too much for me to bear. My hypersensitivity made it even harder to endure. At first, it started as just a hobby, a way to cope, to distract myself from the painful realities of adulthood.

But the more I faced the darker, more painful parts of the world, the more I retreated into that world of softness, of childish things. It wasn’t that I wanted to stay a child forever, but the thought of growing up filled me with dread. I felt like I was losing myself in the process, losing that lightness and softness that I had in my childhood.

Then, after my mama died, everything changed. The grief was so deep, so overwhelming, that I began to experience what I can only describe as amnesia-based age regression. I would act like I was 12 years old, completely disconnected from the reality of being an adult. At that time, I couldn't handle the pain. It was like my mind was trying to protect me, to take me back to a time when I felt safe, when things felt simpler and gentler.

As time passed, the amnesia became less pronounced, but my age regression became even more pronounced. It wasn’t just about the hobby anymore, but about my behavior, how I talked, how I walked, and how I interacted with the world. I would speak in a childish manner, using baby talk or a tone that felt more innocent. My body language would shift to mimic a younger version of myself, almost as if I couldn’t help but express a younger, more vulnerable part of me. At times, I would even throw tantrums, feel overwhelmed, and react like a child trying to make sense of a complicated world.

It was confusing, and honestly, sometimes scary. But at the same time, it felt like my mind was doing what it could to protect me from the harshness of adulthood, from the responsibilities and the weight of it all. It wasn’t about refusing to grow up. It was more about needing to preserve my softness, my tenderness, in a world that had become too difficult to navigate.

This process, this regression, has been hard to explain to others because it feels so deeply personal. It wasn’t a choice, but a response, a way for my mind to cope with trauma, grief, and the overwhelming weight of being an adult in a world that often feels too cruel. But it is a part of me, and I’m learning to understand it, to honor it, and to find ways to heal.

Diagnosing age regression and related experiences is not as straightforward as other mental health conditions, because it’s often not seen as a formal diagnosis in traditional diagnostic manuals like the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). However, there are certain patterns and criteria that professionals might use to understand what’s going on.

1. Professional Evaluation:

-Therapists, psychologists, or psychiatrists can evaluate age regression based on the

behaviors and symptoms

presented, especially if these behaviors cause distress or interfere with daily functioning. They may ask questions about the individual's history, emotional state, and specific triggers that cause the regression.

- Observation of Behavior: Professionals will look for signs like:

- Inconsistent behavior for the person’s age (acting much younger than their actual age)

-Tantrums, baby talk, or childlike actions that aren’t typical for the person’s adult age

- Memory loss or amnesia related to age (forgetting recent events or acting unaware of adulthood realities)

2. Medical and Psychological History:

- A comprehensive history can reveal if the regression is a response to trauma (e.g., the death of a loved one, childhood abuse, or other significant emotional events).

- Previous trauma can be key to understanding if the regression is linked to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), complex trauma, or dissociation.

3. Possible Diagnoses or Associations:

Some mental health conditions might overlap with or explain age regression, and a diagnosis might be considered based on the symptoms:

- Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID): In some cases, regression can be part of DID, where different states of identity (alters) emerge as a result of trauma. If someone experiences shifts in personality or behavior, especially linked to traumatic experiences, this could be part of the broader dissociative process.

- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)(which was my case): If someone’s age regression is a response to trauma, such as the loss of a loved one or childhood abuse, it may be connected to PTSD. In this case, the regression is a coping mechanism to protect the person from overwhelming emotions.

- Dissociative Disorder: Age regression can sometimes be linked to dissociative disorders, where an individual disconnects from reality or their present age as a form of mental escape.

- Attachment Issues: If someone has unresolved attachment issues, such as those that come from neglect or abuse, age regression might be a way of seeking comfort or safety through behaviors typical of an earlier, safer age.

- Developmental or Emotional Disorders: Some developmental disorders, like autism spectrum disorder (ASD) or borderline personality disorder (BPD), can include age regression as a coping mechanism for stress or overwhelming emotions.

4. Understanding the Regression:

Professionals may use different approaches to understand the root cause of the regression:

- Trauma-informed therapy: A therapist who is experienced in trauma can help someone process the emotions and events that might have led to age regression. Therapy might involve exploring past traumatic experiences and how they are linked to the regression.

- Supportive Care: Therapy can also involve providing emotional support, allowing the person to feel safe, and addressing the underlying causes of their regression, like fear, grief, or anxiety.

- Stress management: Teaching healthy coping mechanisms can help prevent age regression as a response to stress or overwhelming emotions.

Age regression, especially when linked to trauma, is complex and doesn’t always fit into a simple diagnostic box. What’s most important is understanding the emotional and psychological needs behind the regression and providing compassionate, patient care.

Another point :

people who experience age regression are still mature and intelligent, even though they may occasionally exhibit childlike behaviors. Age regression is typically a coping mechanism that helps individuals deal with stress, trauma, or emotional pain. When they regress, it may be more about acting or feeling younger in certain moments, often as a way to escape or soothe emotional discomfort.

This doesn’t mean they lose their intellectual capabilities or maturity in other areas of their lives. They can still function as adults in many aspects like holding down a job, managing relationships, or solving problems while sometimes needing to regress emotionally for comfort or healing.

Note : For example, I worked with children especially as a nanny and yes, it is possible for someone experiencing age regression to work with children, but it depends on the individual's personal circumstances, how their age regression manifests, and the support systems in place.

the individual may still retain their adult knowledge and abilities, even though their behavior temporarily mimics that of a child.

When working with children, it's important to maintain professional boundaries and ensure that the age regression doesn't interfere with responsibilities. For example, if the regression leads to a more childlike demeanor, it could be difficult to maintain the authority or emotional stability needed in some settings, especially in roles like caregiving, teaching, or counseling. Boundaries can help prevent crossing professional lines and ensure that the individual can still be a reliable role model for the children.

Back to the point :

Many individuals who experience age regression are highly self-aware and often very reflective about their emotional states. The key is that it’s a temporary state, and outside of those moments, they remain fully capable of engaging with the world in a mature and intelligent way.

Age regression can become too hard when it begins to significantly interfere with a person's ability to function in daily life, maintain relationships, or fulfill responsibilities. It can also become problematic if the regression is frequent or intense enough to cause emotional distress, confusion, or difficulty distinguishing between the regressed state and the present reality.

Few signs that age regression might be becoming too difficult to manage:

1. Inability to Regain Adult Functionality: If someone struggles to "snap back" to their adult self after regressing, or if the regression lasts for long periods of time, it can be overwhelming. This might interfere with daily tasks, like working, studying, or taking care of personal responsibilities.

2. Excessive Emotional Distress: If the regressed state is linked to deep emotional pain, anxiety, or a sense of helplessness, it can be exhausting and mentally draining. This can happen if the individual is unable to separate their regressed state from their present struggles.

3. Dissociation or Loss of Identity: If someone becomes disoriented or feels disconnected from themselves, especially if they lose a sense of who they are as an adult, it can lead to a crisis of identity. This is particularly difficult if the dissociative episodes last long or happen frequently.

4. Difficulty in Social Interactions: If age regression causes communication issues, like a tendency to speak or behave in ways that others don't understand, it can create strain in relationships. People might not know how to respond, or the regressed person might feel isolated or misunderstood.

5. Increased Trauma Response: If the regression is tied to unresolved trauma, it might become a defense mechanism that temporarily blocks emotions or memories, but if the trauma is never addressed, it can worsen mental health and emotional well-being over time.

6. Overdependence on Others: If age regression leads to a dependency on others (family, friends, or partners) for emotional regulation or daily care, it might become too challenging. It’s important to maintain a balance between receiving support and having the ability to function independently.

In my case, I’ve been on a journey of healing (regarding my post traumatic stress), and I’ve found some practices that really help me cope with the challenges I face, like dissociation therapy, which has been important for understanding my dissociative states. I'm not a huge fan of therapy in general but this therapy helps me recognize when I’m feeling disconnected or overwhelmed, and gives me tools to stay grounded in the present.

My boyfriend has also been a huge support, guiding me through Mindfulness & Grounding techniques. He helps me stay focused on the here and now, which is so helpful when I feel like I’m slipping into a dissociative state. Just being reminded to pay attention to my breath or to the physical sensations around me helps me feel more present and less overwhelmed by everything.

I still find comfort in the things I’ve always loved, like collecting plushies, pink, figure skating or even watching cartoons, but recently I’ve also found pottery to be really therapeutic. Working with clay gives me a way to express what I’m feeling without needing to talk about it. It’s Grounding ; there’s something so calming about molding something with my hands. It feels like a safe space for me to channel my emotions into something creative.

I’ve also started doing self-therapy through Music Therapy the most, lately I create playlists that reflect how I’m feeling, using music as a way to process emotions. Sometimes, I need something calming to help me relax, and other times, I need more energetic music to lift my spirits. Music helps me connect with my feelings in a way that words sometimes can’t.

In my everyday life, I’ve learned that age regression doesn’t happen randomly. It’s more about the dissociative states I experience. That’s why I’ve had to create boundaries with triggers, to protect myself from situations or emotions that might send me into a dissociative state or regression. Being aware of these triggers helps me stay in control, or at least, helps me manage them better when they do happen.

Lately, I’ve been focusing on integrating both my childlike and adult selves. It’s all about finding balance, honoring the playful, innocent side of me that feels comforted by childlike things while also embracing the responsibilities and maturity that come with being an adult. It’s not easy, and it requires a lot of self-compassion, but I’m learning to find a middle ground between the two parts of myself. I’m still figuring out how to navigate both sides without feeling torn.

I also rely on my support system, which includes my family, my boyfriend, and friends. They help me through difficult moments, but I’ve realized that I’m more dependent on others than I sometimes let on. For example I can't sleep alone and my dad is especially important to me, and sometimes, I struggle with taking full responsibility for my own life because I rely so much on him. Studying abroad helped me a lot by pushing me outside of my comfort zone, but I was never really alone. I had a mentor and a host family who provided a lot of stability, which was crucial for my growth.

I know this healing journey isn’t something I can rush, but I’m learning and growing each day. I’m working on finding peace between who I’ve been, who I am now, and who I’m becoming. It’s a balance I’m still striving for, but I believe I’m getting closer to understanding myself and finding a healthier way to integrate all the parts of who I am.

Note : My age regression happened gradually. My mom's passing was the breaking point, but before that, I lost so many important people in my life. Two of my cousins died by suicide just two months apart, and I was there to find the second cousin. Losing them, along with my grandma’s death, created a lot of post-traumatic stress for me. I probably internalized all that pain to protect myself from the deep trauma, but everything exploded after my mom died. It was like the straw that broke the camel's back.

Age regression, in some way, helped me cope during this time. It maintained a part of me when I was experiencing overwhelming anxiety and insomnia. The hardest part, though, was the dissociation. I had to be treated for it because it really started to take a toll on me.

Conclusion :

Age regression can be a coping mechanism, especially for those dealing with trauma and emotional pain. For me, it started as a way to escape into childhood comforts like plushies and cartoons. These things helped me cope with the fear of growing up and the overwhelming struggles I faced as an adult especially as an hypersensitive. But after losing my mom and experiencing so much loss, including the suicides of two cousins and the trauma of finding one, my age regression intensified. It became more than just a hobby; it became a way to deal with deep emotional pain and trauma that I had internalized over time.

While age regression offered temporary relief, it also caused challenges in my adult life. It made it harder for me to function and led to dissociation, which needed to be treated. With dissociation therapy, mindfulness, grounding, and practices like music therapy, I’ve worked on regaining control. I've also learned to set boundaries with triggers and focus on integrating my childlike and adult selves in a balanced way.

Though it's not always easy, I'm learning to embrace both sides of myself, finding healing without letting my inner child take over my adult life.

Supportive environment have been essential in helping me move forward.