Being an Empath and a Moral Nihilist. My biggest paradox? 🥀

Hello deer, this is Seri 🌸

🥀 The paradox.

To many, the idea of being a moral nihilist and an empath might seem contradictory.

How can someone believe that morality isn’t objective, and yet feel everything so deeply?

And I understand them.

But it's not black and white : I don’t believe morality exists in some objective, universal sense.

I don’t think there’s a cosmic rulebook where right and wrong are written in stone.

But I do believe that people created morality to survive, to live together, to protect each other and that makes it real enough.

Morality didn’t come from the stars. We created it, out of fear, out of need, out of love maybe. Not because it was written into the universe, but because we had to live together.

And in that way, it became real. Not absolute, but useful.

Morality, in many ways, can be seen as a tool that humans developed to regulate behavior and ensure cooperation within societies. While we are animals driven by instincts, our capacity for reason allows us to create systems of ethics and morality to navigate complex social environments.

Even if it’s made up, it matters. It shapes how we move through the world.

🥀 Pragmatism.

"Truth is what works."

It’s a philosophy that says: instead of asking if something is absolutely true, ask whether it’s useful.

A pragmatist sees beliefs as tools if they help you live better or solve problems, they’re valid.

Pragmatism in moral nihilism means acting based on what works and benefits you or others, even though there are no universal moral truths. It’s about choosing practical, effective actions that align with personal or collective values, without relying on fixed moral rules. You focus on what helps you live well, even if morality is subjective.

🥀 Being a moral nihilist.

First of all, moral nihilism (also called ethical nihilism) is the meta-ethical view that nothing is morally right or morally wrong and that morality does not exist.

"Nihilism gets a bad reputation then, not by argument, but by negative associations. Nihilism rails against mainstream culture, a culture which encourages the view that a good life is one of purpose, meaning, and value. Nihilism attacks what most people hold to be important."

I do consider myself moral nihilist, blending with moral relativism (Moral relativism is the idea that moral judgments and values are not universal or absolute, but are instead shaped by cultural, social, historical, or personal perspectives. In other words, what is considered "right" or "wrong" can vary depending on the context.)

So yes, as a moral nihilist, I don’t think there’s a ‘true’ good or evil in the nature. But I still choose care, kindness, and meaning, because we’re all walking through chaos, and someone has to.

🥀 Values but no... Morals?!

Values are deeply personal things you believe in, things you feel are important for your own way of being. For example, kindness, freedom, loyalty, beauty, peace. They come from lived experiences, from pain, from observation, from the things that move you. They aren’t necessarily about what’s “right” or “wrong” in an absolute sense they’re about what matters to you.

Morals, on the other hand, are often seen as rules sometimes shaped by religion, tradition, or society that tell us what is universally good or bad. But if you no longer believe in an absolute or universal system of “right” and “wrong,” you might step away from moral language.

Initially, I don’t need absolute moral laws to care deeply about others.

Empathy isn’t a duty for me. It’s something that blooms naturally in my heart.

I don’t believe in moral absolutes in the nature. I’m a "moral nihilist" for this reason. But I still have values. I deeply care about things.

I’m guided by empathy, softness, and the desire to do no harm not because it’s ‘morally right,’ but because it resonates with my humanity

I choose kindness, softness, and understanding not because they’re "right"... but because they’re real to me. They feel good, gentle, and in harmony with who I am.

🥀What Is Empathy, Truly?

Empathy isn’t always soft and sweet.

It’s the ability to feel with someone to imagine their sorrow or joy and to be moved by it.

It’s not about saving others.

It’s not about fixing things.

Sometimes, it’s just quietly recognizing pain.

And still choosing not to turn away.

So even though I’m a moral nihilist, someone who doesn’t believe in absolute or universal morals,

empathy still moves me.

Not because I “should” care.

But because I do.

🥀Empathy Without Absolutes

As a moral nihilist, I don’t believe there’s a fixed, universal code of right and wrong written somewhere in the universe.

Morality is something we humans create, it changes with culture, with history, with emotion(moral relativism).

But even in that uncertainty, I find space for compassion.

Because while “right” may be subjective, suffering is real.

And I don’t want to add more pain to the world, not because I “must,” but because I feel it deeply, intensely.

🥀Empathy Taught and Shaped by the Environment (Nurture).

While we may be born with the potential for empathy, it's nurture that helps shape and deepen it.

Children learn empathy by watching adults, through emotional mirroring, and by being in environments where feelings are talked about and validated.

For example, when a caregiver says: “Look, she’s crying. She’s sad. Let’s help her feel better,” the child is being taught to recognize emotions, label them, and respond compassionately.

Without that modeling or in a neglectful environment, the child may not develop strong empathy skills, even if the seed is there.

We’re born with the biological foundations, the emotional sensitivity, the ability to feel with others on a basic level.

But empathy as a mature, conscious, and compassionate action is learned. It’s shaped through connection, care, language, and example.

🥀 I often asked myself : why am I an empath?

Some people are born with nervous systems that feel more intensely emotionally, physically, even spiritually.

Maybe I’ve seen pain. Maybe I’ve felt alone, or misunderstood.

Maybe I’ve been the quiet observer in loud rooms, or the one who noticed what no one else did.

That kind of experience made my heart softer, more attentive. It taught me to read between the lines, and to care deeply when others are hurting, because I’ve known how that feels.

I don't like knowing others are hurt unfairly. I know humans can be cruel, selfish, or careless… but I can't help but have empathy.

Even when I’ve seen the dark parts of people, something in me still aches with them, not because it’s logical or required, but because it’s simply who I am.

My empathy isn’t just a reaction, it’s like an inner compass I didn’t choose, but that guides me anyway.

🥀Empathy Isn’t a Moral Code, It’s a Feeling

Even if I believe that morality is subjective, shaped by culture, context, and history, I still ache when someone is hurt.

Not because a rule was broken.

But because something inside me just hurts with them.

Empathy, for me, isn’t linked to any code of conduct.

It doesn’t depend on religion, commandments, or logic.

It’s not even a conscious decision.

It’s a feeling.

It rises quietly, like light through a window.

And sometimes… I don’t want to care that much.

But I do.

Because it’s like a light I can’t turn off.

Even when I try to stay rational, even when I know life is unfair and chaotic, and humans aren’t always kind…

I still feel others’ pain as if it were my own.

And it’s not about being good. It’s not about being noble.

It’s just what happens inside me.

Many animals do also show signs of empathy, especially mammals and social species.

🥀 For example:

🐘 Elephants have been seen comforting each other, touching with their trunks and staying close when one is distressed.

🦍Primates, our cousins, like chimpanzees and bonobos console their peers, share food, and even seem to grieve.

🐬Dolphins support sick or injured group members by helping them float to breathe.

🐀Rats have been shown in experiments to free other trapped rats, even when there's no reward.

There’s a kind of emotional resonance, a natural reaction to others’ suffering, that exists even without complex moral systems.

So when you feel that your empathy isn’t about moral rules, but something deeply natural…

You’re actually connected to the very pulse of life, soft, instinctive, real.

🥀Empathy and morality are related, but they aren't the same thing.

While they often intersect, they operate on different levels:

🥀 Empathy: A Feeling, Not a Rule.

Empathy is primarily an emotional response, it’s the ability to feel and share in the emotions of others. When you see someone in pain, empathy allows you to connect with that pain, feeling it as if it were your own. It’s an innate emotional reaction that helps us bond and understand others.

For example, when you see a friend grieving, empathy might make you feel sadness and concern for their situation. It’s about emotional resonance, not about deciding whether their grief is right or wrong.

🥀 Morality: A Framework for Right and Wrong

Morality, on the other hand, is a set of rules or principles that dictate what is considered "right" or "wrong" in a given society or system. It’s a cognitive construct, humans have moral codes influenced by culture, religion, and personal beliefs. Morality involves judgment, and it’s often tied to actions and consequences.

For example, if someone lies to their friend, morality might tell us that lying is wrong, and that it harms the relationship. Morality is concerned with guiding behavior based on societal standards.

🥀The Connection Between Empathy and Morality.

Though empathy and morality are different, they often work together in shaping how we behave.

Empathy can influence our moral decisions and a strong sense of empathy might lead us to act in ways that are aligned with moral standards.

For example, if we empathize with someone who’s been hurt by an injustice, we might feel compelled to advocate for fairness or stand up for what’s right.

However, empathy is not a guarantee of moral behavior. It can sometimes be biased or selective you may feel deep empathy for one person but not for another, leading to inconsistent moral actions. For instance, people often empathize more with those who are like them, and that empathy may lead to actions that favor certain groups over others.

🥀Is Empathy a Moral Obligation?

Empathy itself doesn’t necessarily imply that we should act morally. Some people may feel empathy for others without following any moral framework, or they might feel empathy but still choose not to act on it.

For instance, if someone sees a person in need but chooses not to help, it doesn’t mean they lacked empathy, they might simply not have a moral obligation to act on that empathy based on their personal beliefs.

In contrast, some moral systems (e.g. utilitarianism) might prioritize empath as a way to create the greatest good for the greatest number of people. In this sense, empathy can guide moral decisions, even if morality itself is a set of rules.

Conclusion : Empathy is not inherently moral. It’s an emotional connection, and while it often informs and inspires moral actions, it doesn’t dictate them on its own. Instead, morality requires additional thought and judgment, and it can be influenced by empathy, but it’s more than just a feeling.

That emotional weight of being a moral nihilist and an empath, of knowing the world has no fixed rules, and still feeling everything so deeply.

If morality is subjective, empathy isn’t.

Sometimes, it’s confusing.

Sometimes, I wish I didn’t care as much.

But I do.

You can be a moral nihilist and still wish hope that something out there had created a better system.

Something that made sure no one hurt each other, that fairness was automatic, and kindness wasn’t a choice but a given.

People invent their own beliefs. And morality shifts like language, always depending on where you are and who you ask.

And even if the universe didn’t give me a map,

I still try to walk gently. Maybe that’s the closest thing to meaning I’ll ever need.