A Soft Soul, A Detached World 🌷

Hello this is Seri 🌸

When people ask me : who I am?

I ask myself : Am I just an emotional storm, constantly feeling every ripple of happiness and pain? Why does my empathy feel like an overwhelming tide, pulling me under with the emotions of others? How do I balance my softness with a world that often feels too harsh, too distant? Can there ever be a universal truth when my own perception shifts with each moment? If right and wrong are just human constructs, then what truly matters? Why do I love so fiercely yet feel so detached, as if I’m always on the outside, trying to connect but never quite fitting in?

My personality type is INFP & I'm hypersensitive (alongside with dealing with some mental illnesses such as depression after many traumas).

I consider myself empath but I'm also soft, resilient moral nihilist, subjectivitst and somehow misanthrope.

INFPs, often known as "The Mediators," are idealistic, introspective, and deeply empathetic individuals.

They are driven by their values and a strong sense of purpose, always striving to make a positive difference in the world.

INFPs are imaginative and creative, with a rich inner world that fuels their dreams and aspirations.

They are guided by authenticity and are highly attuned to their emotions and the feelings of others.

While they may appear quiet or reserved, they seek deep connections with those who share their values.

INFPs value individuality and personal growth, often feeling a strong need to align their actions with their ideals.

They are compassionate and can be great listeners, offering support and understanding to those in need. However, they can also struggle with perfectionism and may feel misunderstood at times, as they see the world through a unique, idealistic lens.

Despite this, their deep desire for harmony and authenticity drives them to continue seeking ways to bring about positive change.

I’m someone who feels everything deeply.

My emotions are like a storm inside me, always swirling, and I can’t help but absorb the feelings of others.

It’s like I’m an emotional sponge, and sometimes it’s just too much to handle.

I’m incredibly empathetic, and it’s hard for me to shut out the pain or happiness of those around me, even when I’d like to. I feel for others in a way that’s intense, and it often leaves me drained or overwhelmed.

I’m soft, not just in how I act, but in how I approach life. I try to protect myself and those I care about from unnecessary hurt, but sometimes that means I feel fragile, like I’m walking on the edge of something delicate. The world feels heavy at times, especially when I can’t escape the intensity of emotions, both my own and others’.

I don’t really believe in a universal moral code. To me, right and wrong are more like shadows that change depending on how I look at them.

There’s no one set of rules that feels true for everyone, and I’ve come to realize that most things we consider "good" or "bad" are just human constructs. It leaves me questioning everything, wondering if there's really any true meaning behind our actions or the world’s expectations.

I see everything through my own lens. Truth is subjective, and it feels like my reality is different from everyone else's. I rely on my own experiences to shape my understanding of life, and sometimes that makes me feel disconnected from others, like I’m on the outside looking in.

There’s a part of me that’s also detached from humanity.

I’ve seen enough of the cruelty, the selfishness, the ways people harm each other, and it’s hard to keep believing in the goodness of people. I try to connect with others, but it often feels like I’m alone in my perspective, like I’m misunderstood or misplaced in this world.

As an introvert with social anxiety, my daily life can often feel like a balancing act between wanting to connect with others and the overwhelming fear of being judged or misunderstood. I value my alone time, as it allows me to recharge and reflect, which helps me feel more grounded. In social situations, though, I tend to retreat inwardly, feeling more comfortable observing rather than engaging. Small talk or phone calls can feel exhausting and draining, and the pressure to be "on" in conversations often triggers a sense of anxiety.

It's not that I don’t want to connect with people; it's just that navigating social spaces can be intimidating. I often overthink what I say, worrying that I’ll say the wrong thing or come across as awkward.

Even simple interactions, like ordering coffee or making a phone call, can sometimes trigger that anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach. I might freeze, struggle to find the right words, or wish I could disappear altogether.

However, it's not all negative. When I do find people I can relate to those who understand my need for quiet or personal space, I feel a sense of calm. I can be my true self, and the anxiety fades. It’s just that getting to that point can be a challenge. Over time, I've learned to embrace the quiet moments and remind myself that it’s okay to take a step back when I need it. Social situations aren’t always easy, but I’ve come to accept that it’s a part of who I am. And that’s something I’m learning to live with, bit by bit.

I’m this mix of softness and distance, feeling so deeply but also questioning everything around me. I love fiercely, but I’m always wrestling with the tension between my heart and the world I see.